I’m glad that the beginnings of your book tour have been so exciting and illuminating. And yes I completely agree, thank you for providing this suggestion of relatedness. When describing beautiful, brilliant people that I have found here, the word ‘connection’ feels too perfunctory and superficial — relationship speaks much more to the layers of interaction and depth of feeling. And I absolutely feel that way about communing with the living world too xx
The heart of it - “good relationships are what make life worth living for their own sake.” Thanks for this refinement of the idea of connection. So many of us weren’t taught this outside of the human sphere and have had to discover it for ourselves - with good guides, like you.
Just to let you know - I am SO pleased my little, local, cash-strapped library in Aberystwyth has listened to my pleadings, and bought-in a copy of 'Weathering' 😀
Not that I don't fully intend to buy a copy, but this way LOTS more people get a chance to read it.
aww this is lovely to hear! thank you for advocating for Weathering :) It means the world and I hope they will enjoy having a copy and that it will get borrowed!!
I really appreciate this Ruth. It comes as I am reassessing my relationship (as you say) with the nonhuman world. I’ve discovered that I bring to it some of the same unhealthy qualities that I have brought to my human relationships. This is surprising and also provides me with a way towards a deeper and healthier relationship with nature. Your words are an encouragement. Thank you!
It's lovely to hear that this landed for you at a time when you were already in this enquiry with yourself and your relationships. I see the unhealthy engagements in myself too. And also the way my relationship with nature is often compensation for my human ones, which is a real issue for me. Sometimes it's enlarging to make these connections though isn't it...in the longer term ;) xx
It was such a pleasure to come along to one of your events, at Dartington. I could feel the collective energy in the room that you stirred. Your mane deserves celebrating BTW 🙌
"Good relationships take work. They are worth fighting for."
I could not agree more that we need new language to support a less transactional experience with nature, and relationship feels right assuming a pre-existing appreciation for equal parts give and take. Some relationships aren't like that at all, are they? Operative word: Good. I love that you've been able to ride the wave of exhilaration during the tour. So reassuring, all that like-mindedness!
The Dyson hairdryer is something else. One of my kids left hers home when she moved to a country where the voltage differences made it dysfunctional. I'm a strictly air-dry girl, but I still admire its sleek design and power. There's your metaphor! ;)
No, quite right. I think while we're somewhat comfortable with dysfunctional human relationships between ourselves then it's going to be hard to say 'this is a good model of relating for human and planet'. So much of this is idealistic. Sadly.
On the Dyson hairdryer front. It's definitely a wattage hoover 🤣 I had actually gone strictly air drying too and the nature of my hair just made me look a knotty mess the whole time. But I switched away from heat as an eco choice...now I'm a hypocritical mess with sleek hair once more 😬
Wattage hoover - ha! There is no sleek in my hair. Though not as bouncy as they once were now that I'm "of a certain age" (whatever that means!) these curls will not be tamed. I think the Dyson diffuser might be quite magical in that regard, but I've not tried to learn the art. Your ginger hair is delightful!
That line about nature connection being turned into a transaction, something we "do" because we selfishly get something out of it, is something I have been thinking about too. Thank you for putting out so beautifully. (And you are so definitely worth it!)
I love this Ruth! The idea of nature relatedness feels so much more true for me compared to connection. Working in conservation has meant that at times my connection to nature has been complicated, dare I say negative, for numerous reasons. Therefore the idea of connecting to nature as my means of feeling better was the opposite of what I wanted to do during those moments, and it filled me with so much guilt to feel like that, being someone working in nature. But looking at it all as a relationship makes so much more sense to me :) x
Yours sounds like a really interesting perspective on this issue, Gillian. As someone who works up close in this way I would love to read more about this challenge you allude to, though I appreciate that might be different when you're still in or close to that world. But there's something about the ups and downs of relationships that reminds me we don't always getting right, but we can make repairs, learn, try again etc. Xx
I'm beyond delighted that it's resonated with you so deeply, that's really what it's all about isn't it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and my own onwards into the ether :)
It is indeed what it is about, I couldn't agree more. I really do not take it for granted either, how we can use this space to discover and learn and think, all the while with a fraction of the negativity I have seen on other platforms. I get a bit scared when I think of this, in case it all changes but, thus far, I seem to be surrounded by wise and wonderful people.
haha you and me both Alexander! I worry too, but so far it seems a lot of people are invested in it staying supportive and a learning place. Like you, I get so much from the things I read here. I feel expanded by the whole Substack experience. It's really great and it makes me want to keep trying and working to contribute to that!
"...but perhaps the point is that we keep trying, keep investing, keep offering ourselves to the world and beings that we love. This is where mutual healing happens, this is where joy resides."
So beautiful!
I had a period of intense travel last year that was both liberating and exhausting. My favourite part (which you speak to here) was being surrounded by like minds and the hive of inspiration and upliftment that comes from that- especially for those of us who spend a lot of time working alone.
I'm so happy your wonderful book has spread her limestone wings out in the world. Your success is much deserved xx
You’re so right with your words and your work. If we have a relationship with nature, we understand we need to nurture it and work at it, whereas connection feels a quick thing we do, to get our selfie, get our steps in, whatever other selfish things we want out of it.
With the work you’re doing, has it inspired other geologists?
Beautifully expressed Ruth. I resonate with your thoughts on nature relatedness... and excuse me now while I go re-brand my newsletter and tagline, "Hartfelt Expressions, Nature Connections". lol. (Actually, I have been thinking of shortening it to Heartfelt Connections but...). I agree that " Nature relatedness is for me what ‘connection’ is all about ...." When I think of connection, its not in a surface level way. It about an embodied experience, feeling my energy conversing and dancing with the energy of nature and animals. Its rooted in awe and wonder and a mindful heart. Reading "Horses and the Mythical Path" by the McCormicks, years ago, had me thinking of it in terms of communion - in a spiritual, not a religious sense. And just the other day I was reading John O'Donohue's book Beauty. He, too, speaks of communion, of recognizing the sacred energy of people, of approaching one another with reverence. "The way we are present to each other is frequently superficial. We become more interested in 'connection' rather than communion. In many areas of our lives the rich potential of friendship and love remains out of our reach because we push towards 'connection.' ... A reverence of approach awakens depth and enables us to be truly present where we are." (pg 24) True connection, I believe, is based within the relationship, within this reverence and honouring of others (nature and other animals included). PS. I look forward to reading your books. My sister is a Geologist, and may get your latest as a present ;)
Ah yes, so much THIS. John O'Donohue really knew it didn't he. And I love the language of communion. Also, sacredness, contemplation...I don't have any religious attachment but I find some of the language very meaningful for my spiritual life :)
#youareworthit I am 49 and just starting to play with hair products and new makeup. It’s kinda fun! I am glad that it wasn’t a preoccupation in my youth but can be delightful now.
I’m glad that the beginnings of your book tour have been so exciting and illuminating. And yes I completely agree, thank you for providing this suggestion of relatedness. When describing beautiful, brilliant people that I have found here, the word ‘connection’ feels too perfunctory and superficial — relationship speaks much more to the layers of interaction and depth of feeling. And I absolutely feel that way about communing with the living world too xx
Yes, that's it. Perfunctory. Exactly. I'm delighted that this resonates with you too xx
I resonate with so much of this, Ruth. Thank you for sharing it all.
Thank you Lore 🧡
The heart of it - “good relationships are what make life worth living for their own sake.” Thanks for this refinement of the idea of connection. So many of us weren’t taught this outside of the human sphere and have had to discover it for ourselves - with good guides, like you.
“This is where mutual healing happens, this is where joy resides.” Amen! And, echoing Annabell, you are so very worth it x
You (and nature) are absolutely worth it ❤️
Just to let you know - I am SO pleased my little, local, cash-strapped library in Aberystwyth has listened to my pleadings, and bought-in a copy of 'Weathering' 😀
Not that I don't fully intend to buy a copy, but this way LOTS more people get a chance to read it.
And I shall be promoting it loudly!🙂
aww this is lovely to hear! thank you for advocating for Weathering :) It means the world and I hope they will enjoy having a copy and that it will get borrowed!!
I really appreciate this Ruth. It comes as I am reassessing my relationship (as you say) with the nonhuman world. I’ve discovered that I bring to it some of the same unhealthy qualities that I have brought to my human relationships. This is surprising and also provides me with a way towards a deeper and healthier relationship with nature. Your words are an encouragement. Thank you!
It's lovely to hear that this landed for you at a time when you were already in this enquiry with yourself and your relationships. I see the unhealthy engagements in myself too. And also the way my relationship with nature is often compensation for my human ones, which is a real issue for me. Sometimes it's enlarging to make these connections though isn't it...in the longer term ;) xx
Thanks Ruth. Yes, I think these connections are generally always enlarging or can be if we lean into them. At least, that’s been my experience!
It was such a pleasure to come along to one of your events, at Dartington. I could feel the collective energy in the room that you stirred. Your mane deserves celebrating BTW 🙌
Hehe we have similar manes I think :)
It's lovely to hear about a collective energy as I couldn't feel much up front so that's very heartening!
"Good relationships take work. They are worth fighting for."
I could not agree more that we need new language to support a less transactional experience with nature, and relationship feels right assuming a pre-existing appreciation for equal parts give and take. Some relationships aren't like that at all, are they? Operative word: Good. I love that you've been able to ride the wave of exhilaration during the tour. So reassuring, all that like-mindedness!
The Dyson hairdryer is something else. One of my kids left hers home when she moved to a country where the voltage differences made it dysfunctional. I'm a strictly air-dry girl, but I still admire its sleek design and power. There's your metaphor! ;)
No, quite right. I think while we're somewhat comfortable with dysfunctional human relationships between ourselves then it's going to be hard to say 'this is a good model of relating for human and planet'. So much of this is idealistic. Sadly.
On the Dyson hairdryer front. It's definitely a wattage hoover 🤣 I had actually gone strictly air drying too and the nature of my hair just made me look a knotty mess the whole time. But I switched away from heat as an eco choice...now I'm a hypocritical mess with sleek hair once more 😬
Wattage hoover - ha! There is no sleek in my hair. Though not as bouncy as they once were now that I'm "of a certain age" (whatever that means!) these curls will not be tamed. I think the Dyson diffuser might be quite magical in that regard, but I've not tried to learn the art. Your ginger hair is delightful!
Why thank you so much!!
That line about nature connection being turned into a transaction, something we "do" because we selfishly get something out of it, is something I have been thinking about too. Thank you for putting out so beautifully. (And you are so definitely worth it!)
Thank you Annette :) * big smiles * xx
I love this Ruth! The idea of nature relatedness feels so much more true for me compared to connection. Working in conservation has meant that at times my connection to nature has been complicated, dare I say negative, for numerous reasons. Therefore the idea of connecting to nature as my means of feeling better was the opposite of what I wanted to do during those moments, and it filled me with so much guilt to feel like that, being someone working in nature. But looking at it all as a relationship makes so much more sense to me :) x
Yours sounds like a really interesting perspective on this issue, Gillian. As someone who works up close in this way I would love to read more about this challenge you allude to, though I appreciate that might be different when you're still in or close to that world. But there's something about the ups and downs of relationships that reminds me we don't always getting right, but we can make repairs, learn, try again etc. Xx
In short, I absolutely loved this, especially your thoughts about relatedness, as opposed to connection. Language really does matter.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I'm beyond delighted that it's resonated with you so deeply, that's really what it's all about isn't it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and my own onwards into the ether :)
It is indeed what it is about, I couldn't agree more. I really do not take it for granted either, how we can use this space to discover and learn and think, all the while with a fraction of the negativity I have seen on other platforms. I get a bit scared when I think of this, in case it all changes but, thus far, I seem to be surrounded by wise and wonderful people.
haha you and me both Alexander! I worry too, but so far it seems a lot of people are invested in it staying supportive and a learning place. Like you, I get so much from the things I read here. I feel expanded by the whole Substack experience. It's really great and it makes me want to keep trying and working to contribute to that!
My favourite part:
"...but perhaps the point is that we keep trying, keep investing, keep offering ourselves to the world and beings that we love. This is where mutual healing happens, this is where joy resides."
So beautiful!
I had a period of intense travel last year that was both liberating and exhausting. My favourite part (which you speak to here) was being surrounded by like minds and the hive of inspiration and upliftment that comes from that- especially for those of us who spend a lot of time working alone.
I'm so happy your wonderful book has spread her limestone wings out in the world. Your success is much deserved xx
You’re so right with your words and your work. If we have a relationship with nature, we understand we need to nurture it and work at it, whereas connection feels a quick thing we do, to get our selfie, get our steps in, whatever other selfish things we want out of it.
With the work you’re doing, has it inspired other geologists?
Thank you! Um, I don't know. I met a few last week and they seemed to like it but perhaps only time will tell :) I hope so!
Beautifully expressed Ruth. I resonate with your thoughts on nature relatedness... and excuse me now while I go re-brand my newsletter and tagline, "Hartfelt Expressions, Nature Connections". lol. (Actually, I have been thinking of shortening it to Heartfelt Connections but...). I agree that " Nature relatedness is for me what ‘connection’ is all about ...." When I think of connection, its not in a surface level way. It about an embodied experience, feeling my energy conversing and dancing with the energy of nature and animals. Its rooted in awe and wonder and a mindful heart. Reading "Horses and the Mythical Path" by the McCormicks, years ago, had me thinking of it in terms of communion - in a spiritual, not a religious sense. And just the other day I was reading John O'Donohue's book Beauty. He, too, speaks of communion, of recognizing the sacred energy of people, of approaching one another with reverence. "The way we are present to each other is frequently superficial. We become more interested in 'connection' rather than communion. In many areas of our lives the rich potential of friendship and love remains out of our reach because we push towards 'connection.' ... A reverence of approach awakens depth and enables us to be truly present where we are." (pg 24) True connection, I believe, is based within the relationship, within this reverence and honouring of others (nature and other animals included). PS. I look forward to reading your books. My sister is a Geologist, and may get your latest as a present ;)
Ah yes, so much THIS. John O'Donohue really knew it didn't he. And I love the language of communion. Also, sacredness, contemplation...I don't have any religious attachment but I find some of the language very meaningful for my spiritual life :)
And how delightful you have a geologist sister! X
#youareworthit I am 49 and just starting to play with hair products and new makeup. It’s kinda fun! I am glad that it wasn’t a preoccupation in my youth but can be delightful now.
Haha I love this. I was picked on a lot when I was a kid for my ginger hair...my whole life I've been reclaiming that :)